Archive for March, 2010

What’s A Vagina to You?

Posted by Pink Wrangler

March 9, 2010

Many things come across my desk—cups of coffee, various papers, bowls of ice cream, cats, and even the odd dog—but perhaps the most curious of all was a book titled, Shmirshky, written by “E” (for every woman).

A “shmirshky” (pronounced shmersh-key) as it turns out is E’s word for vagina. The penis she calls an “erlick” (rhymes with herlick). The book is about something that affected E’s shmirshky and has or will affect every other shmirshky in the world: perimenopause and menopause, which the author refers to as “PM&M.”

Now I thought thanks in part to the Vagina Monologues, we finally got over our fear of the word, vagina. I thought by the time women entered menopause, they could be officially considered in “A” (adulthood) and thus, not reliant on euphemisms and cuteness to make life palatable.

OMG was I wrong, like really wrong.

After talking with a number of women friends, it’s clear I’m the only one who doesn’t have nickname for her vagina. “Va-j-j” was popular. “Bo-dee” did double duty as being a descriptor for both the penis and vagina. There was “gina,” “pusois,” “love box,” “puddy,” and a few others I’d rather forget.

Back to Shmirshky, the book. What can it tell you about your “honey pot” you don’t already know? Well, it all depends on where you’re at. If you’re new to menopause, it’s a great primer. The author explains what you need to know simply and succinctly. Given the overwhelming and often confusing information on the topic that alone is reassuringly helpful. E also offers an overview of important diagnostic tests and what they mean, while clarifying the difference between symptoms that look like menopause but may in fact be related to something else, such as a thyroid problem. She sums it all up in a chapter called, “shmirshky don’t-jump-off-a-cliff notes.”

Shmirshky, as the E explains in the introduction, was written as an act of friendship and the tone of the book is warm, supportive, and kind—things most women need in spades when going through menopause.

Having written a book on menopause myself (ridethepinkelephant.com) and having grappled with all the emotional craziness and medical complexities therein (especially around hormones), we gals also need practical guidance, which Shmirshky delivers. Things like how to handle weight gain when your hormones go out of whack (toss the stuff that doesn’t fit, get Spanx, get a seamstress). And how to find a good doctor, which is harder than it sounds and in my experience, the key to a relatively stress-free menopause.

If you’re used to putting everyone’s needs before yours, screening docs can be especially challenging. E counsels women to give up the “’I'm fine’ cover-up” and come clean with your doctor about what you’re going through.

“Many shmirshkies spend more time researching hotels, hairdressers, and restaurants than researching doctors,” writes E as she implores women to put themselves first for a change. “Think of the doctor-patient relationship like you would a business partnership,” she says. “Would you go into business with someone who doesn’t listen to you and sincerely respect your opinion? Don’t settle for less than you deserve!”

Advice like that makes me forgive all the exclamation points, nicknames, and acronyms. By the end of the book, I confess, I was still smarting from being left out on the whole name-your-shmirshky thing. So, I’ve come up with my own name. It’s “bunny tail.” Is that cute or what?